• Tired of your responsibilities?

    Would you like a respite from the constant scrutiny of being a leader, breadwinner, and responsible adult?

    Nick Phipps found an unusual path to relief by donning a cow costume and relieving himself on a bar during a night out in Sydney last month.

    For the record, he was dressed not as a player from the North Queensland franchise of the NRL. He was, in fact, dressed as the sort of cow that provides milk.

    The fanciful display cost him the captaincy of the New South Wales Waratahs and 4,000 Roos, all of which will go to a charitable cause dedicated to the grass roots level of community rugby.

    The Super Rugby League could have used the money to restore the Western Force…no, we will not go there.

    Phipps faced a news conference where he sheepishly (cowishly?) copped to the incident, where he admitted that he had acted foolishly, but he could not remember the incident. The farmer could have forgotten to milk him, too, which could account for Phipps desperate need for relief. Perhaps the bar he was patronising made the mistake of serving him bloody warm British beer, as that sort of thing in not unheard of in NSW.

    We ourselves have never been in the Woolahra Hotel, site of the incident, but we would assume from the name that it is a sheep-themed nightspot, so Phipps’ infraction may have been as much about going around impersonating a cow in sheep territory as it was about his choice of bathrooms.

    Phipps’ remarks published by the Associated Press did not seem to view the matter as udderly critical.

    “If I’m going to do the crime, I’ll definitely pay the time,” the 29-year-old Phipps said. “I was a bloody idiot. It’s one of those things I wanted to front straight away and get the apology out there and make sure that everyone knows how sorry I am.”

    Phipps may have been seeking revenge of the bovine species, since he missed the start of the 2018 Super Rugby season due to a calf injury.